Forgiveness begins in our selves

 Our present society is a society that is based on the rationale of judgement. If we take someone to court we expect a judgement to be handed down to us. If we take someone to task about a wrong doing we expect that there is some form of judgement to be handed down. If we malign someone with intent that intent is surely to bring the community's judgement upon that person. Our goal is to ensure that our petty squabbles are finalised with someone else's judgement and thus allowing us to move forward with our lives not caring about the other only about the fact that they got their just deserves. Often this seems to be the case even in the Hebrew scriptures that God passes final judgement rather than some form of forgiveness (Ex. 14:19-31). Is this solely the case when we look at this passage? The Egyptians have done wrong in the sight of the Lord and have refused God's openness and freedom only seeing the dictates of pharaoh. Dictates that constrain and curtail the freedom that comes from God.

Yet, in some allegorical way at looking at the Red Sea passage we can see it not as retribution on the Egyptians but rather a removal of the past guilt and excess that the Israelites had accrued during their time in Egypt. The washing away of their past is a symbolic understanding that is celebrated on the shores of the Red Sea by the women, immediately following on from this reading in Exodus.  The parable from Matthew (Matt. 18:21-35) seems to instantiate this powerful supremacy of God with a suggestion that God's retribution is still alive and well in the eschaton, if we do not follow God's offer of redemption through forgiveness. This is the power of the bully in the playground who loses face and requires violence to show their strength. It reflects our own judgemental attitudes when it comes to the actions of the other. The passage from Romans asks us "Who are you to pass judgement on someone else's servant?" (Rom. 14:4). God has accepted each person for who they are not for who we think they are. It is not our role to fall into the habit of upholding our power by judging others and utilising our power to condemn whether they have acted in a manner that is contrary to what we believe to be God's purposes.

Open arms embrace the hurt in the other as we forgive the hurt in ourselves

We do not enter into the cycle or circle of forgiveness as more often then not we seek judgement on those who have created the issue for us. In the parable the pain of bearing a debt of such worth and being allowed to let it go is too much for the servant as he attempts to retrieve his own self pity by passing judgement on those that are unable to fend for themselves. Michael Lapsley reminds us that we need to turn to our own frameworks or faith to find healing and a response to hurt. Often it is not only the other that we need to blame but also ourselves who are guilty. We blame all manner of outside influences and people rather than looking first to ourselves, even as Christians, and forgiving our own faults that may have given arise to the situation in which we seek judgement. Our own failings may be a remnant of our own histories that we fail to acknowledge and leave in the past or they may be the result of an in built prejudice gifted to us from our community and our growth into adulthood. No matter which it is these chains also need to be broken through seeking our own forgiveness before we can make the amends that is required to form community in the present.

God's power comes from forgiveness and the setting of things into right order without the need to resort to violence as love is not violent in nature. We need to avoid the trap of judgement and enter the cycle of forgiveness. The first step on that cycle is to forgive ourselves and to understand that it is often our own faults that bring about the trap of judgement rather than faults in others. By embracing the presence of God's love in our hearts we are able to embrace the love of the other that is inherent in our faith journey. In taking that step and opening our arms to the other we allow God's love to flow and improve the community to which we belong. We also decrease the animosity of the other within the community as they are not judged but rather welcomed and listened to by those around them so that their woes and our woes are eased in forgiveness.

Festina lente

  Festina lente I was told by my father. This is what the Israelites do on the night that God leapt over them as they initiated a celebration of the past before the fact (Ex. 12:1-14). It is something we sometimes forget to do in our haste to accommodate or pursue something that appears to be important to us. Often we understand what we want to do and leap into action before making some form of understanding as to how we can get there. There are some people who are able to do that because they see the end result without having to see the way there but for most of us we have to be careful as the end result may not be the one we expect to come from the actions we take.

There is a sense of urgency as the story progresses, from the Egyptians. A wish for the Israelites to disappear from their land as quickly as possible and indeed in a later text (Deut 16:1) it appears as if the Israelites leave in the night. Yet, they stay in their houses waiting as if with bated breath, for the morning when they leave with the gold of their neighbours. In this stillness before the action of leaving takes place they undertake the pesach meal prior to God's leap yet undertaken in remembrance of that leap that is in the future. There is a tenseness in their waiting, girded for flight but not moving in their established dwellings. Only when morning comes does the action of flight take place and with it the recovery of wealth from their neighbours. There appear to be all sorts of paradoxes inherent in the text a remembrance meal before the event, a need and pressure to go yet a waiting in tenseness. All of these things point to a need to control our haste our need to jump in and flee the horrors of life to attempt a plan without that first hesitant stop.

Decide only when we swim like a dolphin whilst being anchored in God

This is perhaps distinguished to a certain extent in the passage from Matthew and our response to those things that occur around us (Matt. 18:15-17). There is a sense of going forward in a manner that is both fast and slow, a paradox. So often in today's world our first response is to go directly to some form of judgement, either a court or tribunal, before even beginning to sit down with the people supposedly in opposition to try and work out the issue. Often times the issues are around how we perceive things and our interpretation of what is required. Unless we can firmly state exactly what is required our words are indistinguishable from threat and violence. Each step in the process that Matthew outlines is a step that slows everything down. In our modern age we will, like Trump and other Americans, go directly to the courts. Everything we do is around how quickly can we involve the court system. This does not speed the process but rather slows it till it crawls like a snail and we are left wondering for years as to what the outcome will be. Taking our understanding from Exodus, we still ourselves before God and wait for God's response in our hearts and then follow with the slow response. How often in the past have our actions been quick leading to poor repercussions? The quick response to the insult, the quick response to violence leading to more violence, the quick response to someone pushing an agenda with an opposite response. All of these things we can see in our lives and in the various power levels of the world. China in a hissy fit America responds with one of their own; Liberal policies and Labour spins the opposite way. These are like young teenagers who squabble over the slightest defamatory remark that is perceived to have been aimed at them. No wonder we cannot move forward either in our own lives let alone the lives of our communities.

It is often the consequence of leaping ahead of ourselves that devolves down to a split or a division where there should actually be none. By moving to fast and without understanding we fool ourselves into believing that we are moving forward. We have been fed the illusion that we need to complete everything in the quickest possible time to reap the reward. Just as with any growing thing in nature, maturity takes time, there are no shortcuts either in growing plants or in relationships. If we want a community that is based on the precept of God's presence then we need to take time to listen. to hear, to see, to contemplate and to mature our relationships. Only when we can truly give ourselves can we truly become true citizens and able to obey the laws not only of authority but of love. In order to forward ourselves and grow as a child we must open ourselves to the other in harmony and in understanding which takes time and a hesitancy before action to ensure the consequences are the ones that we desire.

Small protests to affect large changes

 Today there is a remarkable number of injustices being perpetrated upon the world and its people.  From racist comments to the incarceration of those looking for new homes. From ideological maniacs seeking their own power to those who have rights blocked by bigotry and hatred, with a misplaced and unshakeable understanding that will fracture at the slightest push. In Isaiah God seems to indicate to us that his presence alone will give us the plenitude we long for even in the midst of desolation (Is. 51.1-6). Sometimes we need to assist the changes that God will bring by making a small protest to change the bigger realities. In the midst of trial and labour brought about by the rulers of the day the Israelites managed to assist life by a small protest (Ex. 1.17-20). The world around them seemed to be falling apart for their people and yet by their simple act of defiance they allowed their people to have an opportunity at the start of a journey toward the realisation of becoming God's people. Their protest brought life not death and in doing so secured a new future for the world.

Our instinct is to protest against the injustices of the world, which is right and proper, but sometimes our instincts can lead us astray and we have to take care that we are not being led down the wrong path. However much good we think we are generating or however much we think God is leading, we can and are led astray. This seems to be counter everything that we might think is right. It is often the smallest protest that sparks the road to life and not the major undertakings of change that bring about Christ's freedom in our lives by initiating God's swift deliverance rather than shouldering the issues ourselves (Is 51:5).  The midwives, in the Exodus story, did a small thing, they delayed their coming to the scene of birth and as a result allowed new life into the world contrary to the law.  In allowing life into the world they allowed the seed of hope that was Moses to become a moment of grace and change later in life.  The major protests of the world have been sparked by a small change in someone's attitude, a small protest against and injustice which has slowly built, sometimes over generations. I wonder how many people actually thought that protesting against the issues in the Middle East or the violence and war in the Ukraine were dumb ideas at the time or get fed up with the protests of those wishing to see change in climate policy? Even thinking about the diocese's own issues and the protests over property sales will achieve a new prosperous diocese or an old aging behemoth.

Are you a midwife of life and faith or selfishness and despair?

(https://www.stemfellowship.org/the-history-of-medicine-childbirth/)

Peter confesses Christ (Matt. 16.13-20) but just shortly after this he is rebuked by Christ as in his enthusiasm he reaches out to over protect Christ. For him a seemingly small protest but one that goes awry. Peter's protest was not a protest for righteousness but a protest for self preservation. He protested for himself and for the concern for his future not for the concerns of those who suffered. In comparison the protest of the midwifes was for a community.  In our individual lives we need to be careful about what we are protesting. Our protest, even if it is a small one, needs to be a protest for the wider oppressed community and not for our personal survival in the world. We need to be honest in our reflection of God's justice in the world.  We need to remind ourselves that at the beginning of creation God made humanity in his own image; a humanity that strives towards the life that God has given to us. The signboard outside the Gosford Anglican church is used a a small sign of protest for many things. It names for us those things that we feel ashamed of because we do not say anything. The midwives also named something because the rest were not. Each of us are capable of stepping onto the faith journey and naming the things that are detrimental to life. The moment we do this we invigorate those who are suffering and bring hope into the world and we bring God's righteousness into being. We become the midwives of new birth and new life in faith. In reflecting on the midwives and on Isaiah's message we need to ask for ourselves: In our protest are we protesting for ourselves or for the oppressed and for God's justice?

Ma'en or amen

 It is not often that we are accepting of others within our midst. Unfortunately our innate wariness of things that are different prevent us from seeing the good in others. Often the attitudes of those around us in society are the attitudes that we portray to others. In the Gospel passage today even Christ appears to succumb to the attitudes of the day (Matt 15:23-26), most particularly the reference to "dogs" (Matt:15:26). Each community determines the boundaries that it is willing to accept within itself and those boundaries and prejudices are in built into the society in which we live. Generations of people have passed down their own understanding of who is in and who is out, which leads to our present day issues around the other who is different.

Matthew's Christ eventually comes to the inclusive understanding of community which we need to follow today. His thinking is not so much different from any in society and yet acknowledges that faith can be found outside the accepted boundaries that we the people have put in place. And yes it is we people. Irrespective of when, people have been responsible for the institution of our dogma and our own prejudices determine our reaction to those who are external to us. We can see this in recent movements such as Black lives matter and other movements throughout the world. Today the world is about a people who have been grafted one onto the other through the numerous interconnections that we all share. Paul was only concerned with those who were grafted on to a single root (Rom. 11:17), today we are considering multiple grafts on multiple roots. Our inter-connectedness in the world is greater now then it has ever been in the past.

Recognise the connection through the root stock that is God

Our predispositions to hatred and ostracisation need to be re-evaluated in light of our connections not only with other people but also with our environment. Joseph was sold into slavery and found a way forward but still held a dislike of his brothers which is played out in the story of his trickery and deception when they come to Egypt for relief. This is overcome not through his own immediate insight but rather as a result of his interaction with his brother, Judah. Like most of us Joseph needs proof of the brothers' credibility and honesty after his betrayal; can he trust these men who are his brothers? If he can then he can reveal himself and his connection to them and their family. Just prior to the passage that has been read today we hear Judah's impassioned speech, which for the midrash descriptions, is a re-description of himself which influences Joseph's understanding and thus eventual breakdown before the brothers. Joseph moves away from the need to seek proof towards an acceptance of who they are and their inter-connectedness with with each other. Prior to this he was unable to believe their words, not accepting (ma'en) as opposed to accepting (amen).

It is this moment of change that we need to achieve within us in our own interconnected world. It is an understanding that overcomes the awkwardness of our conditioned response to the other and an acceptance of our own inter-connectedness. We need to be able to say amen rather than our normal ma'en to those that surround us. Christ has a moment of denial before he too can admit the amen and need to establish God's community with those who are exterior to the community. It is only when we become one recognising that the divisions we uphold our of our own making, whether they are a result of selfishness or tribal preservation, are little more than tactics to preserve our individuality as opposed to our acceptance of God in the life of others. We do not have to control everything but rather we need to overcome our reluctance to accept God's presence even if we have no proof of God's presence. Our ideas of self have overcome our ideas of knowing even without grounds, so that we can say "Amen" to God in our lives. In doing so we overcome our reluctance to see beyond the graft and discover the root in others is their connectivity to God.

Imagining faith

  Reliance on our own understanding often leads to issues and challenges in our lives that are frequently beyond our ability to cope. In doing so we may interpret situations and form our own interpretive story that fits with our view. Through our interpretation we form an understanding of the world around us and its impact upon our lives. Joseph's story starts, for many sources, a long and convoluted interpretation not of Joseph but of Jacob and his whole family (Gen 37.1-ff). It is a story of the loss of connection with God leading to a re-imagining of familial and community connections over time. For those interpreting in this manner it is not a simple story of betrayal and remorse but one that sees the actors as caught within God's plot rather their own individual autonomous tale. In seeing this story from this perspective our own interpretive perspective is altered as we in turn look at the story of our lives and our community.

These interpretations point to our own lack of imagination when it comes to our faith and how we engage with our communities. We are in a similar boat to Jacob in that to a large extent we seem to have lost our connection to God as a community. Not just as a parish community but as a community in the much wider sense both nationally and internationally. Peter's attempt to walk on water demonstrates that failure of the imaginative process in our own faith journey (Matt. 14:28-29). Peter is called out of the boat onto the water by Christ but is almost immediately side tracked away from the impossibility by the mundane. There is a certain amount of imagination that is needed when we encompass our own faith journey. An imagination that suggests we can do anything beyond the normal that Christ / God calls us into overcoming the mundane that pulls us away from God.

Allow our faith to follow God's imagining

For most of us we are, like the brothers, unable to come to terms with the imaginative process so that we become caught up within the mundanity of our lives and concentrate solely on the ever increasing calls upon our time that is the world in which we live. Our response to the act of imagination that is the faith journey, is to hide it away in a hole or sell it of to become enslaved to situations that we are unable to comprehend or become involved in. The sleazy normality of the flux and flow of the ties that we have to the modern society prevents us from rising above the waves that overwhelm our lives. The very concept of retreating from the everyday into prayer or reflection or the imaginative process is abhorrent to modernity. The press of society around us is towards an evermore efficient lifestyle that is filled and, at the end of the day, exhausting of our life energy.

The retreat into the imagination to allow ourselves to take the step that enables our feet to walk upon the fluid surface of the water is an almost forgotten understanding. It s being retrieved into modern life by the more esoteric spiritual journeys of the Far East and alternative culture. The church appears to have lost itself within the fabric of modernity without realising that it has lost the imaginative process. This allows it to be divided by the self delusion that a reading of scripture is best interpreted by a literalist or someone embedded in a specific understanding and outlook. This dogmatic thinking is robust but static and does not allow for the breaking in of God's presence to lead us into the wonders that God's love brings to those who dedicate their lives in contemplation and reflection of that love. Our failure in our worship, in our lives and in our understanding of God's fluid and changing nature is re-lived in a lack of commitment to the belief that God can perform the imaginative miracle even while we shiver in the fear of overwhelming mundanity.

Lead from the front or from the rear

 I am not sure about you but when I make any major decision I struggle. I can spend a number of nights and days just coming to grips with the fact that a decision has to be made. In some respects I think we are all prone to this sort of struggle at least once in our lives. In a manner of speaking this is what is represented in the story of the night long wrestling match that results in the change of name from Jacob to Israel (Gen. 32:22-31). The decision from the various rabbinic sources is a decision with regards authenticity and authority rather than something more mundane. The change in name realises the change in Jacob's acceptance of who he is and his relationship to power and authority. This is not just a struggle that makes a decision but rather it is struggle that makes us change. In this understanding lies the challenge due to the fact that the result is a change to ourselves something that we fear that we will become injured and debilitated in the process.

Jacob sends his family and his household ahead of him across the river, like a good general he is leading from the rear by planning and trying to gauge the effects of his coming meeting with his brother. Also like any good leader he looks to rest from the distractions of leadership to have quiet time, like Christ (Matt. 14:13), to review the past and set up for the future. Yet, he is set upon and has to wrestle the night away. His wrestling is within himself, and is allegorically displayed by the "angel", perhaps Esau's guardian angel, as he struggles with his own doubts and fears of the life he is living and has lived. The decision to hold on to what has been or to move into a new life is a large one and is only made after we see the harm holding on does to us. The pain can become physically disabling not only for ourselves but also for the communities that we lead. Acceptance means that we begin to see ourselves in a new light and our ideas mature us towards the person that God wants us to be. In our own wrestling with our selves we begin to understand the needs of the people in the community around us. We place out needs behind us so that we can give to our community in such a manner that the gift becomes life giving. Where others may quail and step back we are able to step forward and find the solution that God has already prepared for us.

Leading from the front takes the pressure off but is a struggle

In many ways when we wrestle with our decisions we are wrestling with God as we are wrestling with a decision that will change our lives. If we are to grow in accordance with God's will then we struggle as our own thoughts and perceptions colour our decisions and deceive us away from what God would have us achieve. While we wrestle with God and our own way of doing things we will naturally change, even our names just as Jacob did. Even if we think we are not leaders or in positions of leadership we are indeed leaders as we portray God's way of love to the world and should be leading in this very thing. If we push people from behind, like Jacob, we will soon loose their interest and our own ability to lead them into new life. At some point we need to have courage to actually lead from the front with our convictions centred in God's presence. God inspired leadership takes us out of ourselves to see and lead with compassion from the front. The disciples come to Christ in a quandary about food even though Christ has been giving his all all day (Matt. 14:15). Instead of telling them to make the decision or moving of for quiet space, sympathy and compassion lead so that others may find comfort. In our own way we need to be able to do the same. We too often allow the attitude of Douglas Adams' SEP to come to the fore and not take the initiative. We often allow ourselves to make suggestions and let others do when often it is needful for us as Christ followers to lead our communities from the front. We then place God's love to the fore and become true disciples. This is where the struggle becomes part of our own being as we overcome and make things smoother for those behind.

Looking beyond the ephemeral

 We often overlook things in life especially when it is close to us. In finding out the excellence that has been hidden from us we quite often become total boors in our outlook much as the friends and family of Christ did when he preached in Nazareth (Matt. 13:53-58). Instead of praise we become jealous of that which has been hidden in plain sight but we have completely overlooked or assumed something that was different. This most often occurs within the family but is rife within our society and community. It can be seen in the way we react to difference and our assumptions as to what should and should not be present. The other side of the coin is as equally true in that those who are different often feel discouraged by the reception they receive from those who are assumed to know better. In this case the light is lost as a result of our own perception of unworthiness as we rely on the perceptions of others rather than on the perception of God's presence (Rom. 8:31-35).

In the love life of Jacob, we see how this playing out of perception actually works in the lives of people and because we are so often guided to see this story one way we miss the obvious undertones that are present (Gen. 29:15-28). We focus on the love of  Rachel and Jacob without paying much attention to Leah. Perhaps it is time for us to actually take a little more note of this hidden character because we have been taught to disregard this person, we know that she is there but she obviously has little bearing on the story as that is about how Jacob has been denied the love of his life Rachel. Do we really know any information other than the fact that she appears to be "dull eyed" (Gen. 29:17). How derogatory can we get? What does the story actually tell us of this person? Let us just imagine ourselves in her shoes for a few minutes. Here is a woman who has put aside any enmity she might feel for her beautiful sister despite being married to the same man. Here is a woman who actually bears the majority of Jacob's children and is obviously very much in love with him. We could almost say more so than Rachel as she does not appear to have any animosity towards her sister while the same cannot be said for Rachel's jealousy. Despite her looks she does more for Jacob then Rachel and is in some ways more honoured as in her death she is buried in the family plot while Rachel is buried on the road to Ephrath (Gen. 48.7).

Determining the value of anybody from what is seen is difficult without God's help

We are extremely quick when it comes to our relationships and how we see others. If things are not quite what we would like we are very quick to charge those that we do not get on with for bringing down the establishment. We often miss the jewels of God's love that works in all our hearts and minds because we judge only by what we think and not in prayer. Like Leah some people are just rough or rather have a demeanour about them that is problematic to our own way of thinking. They rub us up the wrong way because they either hold strong views as to the way things should be done or else they do things that we believe are wrong or disrespectful. The moment we set our eyes on others without seeing to the depths that God sees we lose sight of the gem that glows. This does not mean that every one is good, it just means we actually have to strive harder in love to see the good if it is obscured by our judgements. The merchant in the parable was able to see more than those around him to value the pearl. By selling everything he obtained the wisdom that the pearl represents. The question that this suggests is that can we see beyond our own prejudices and presumptions to see the pearls that are in those who we have rejected within the community in which we live? Just as Christ was rejected in his home town so we often reject those we have known within our own communities because we "know" them. The answer is that we do not truly know those in our own community until we have strived to be with them and walked beside them. We miss the pearls because "well everyone knows that (s)he is no good". Is that really the case or is it our imagination because we think or have been told it is the case? Are we able to put aside our past interactions and form a new relationship with those who are despised by others?