I think I said last year that today is Doubting Sunday. Each year we are heralded with the story of Thomas Didymus and his doubts. I always wonder why this story above all others is something to dedicate the Sunday to, would it not be better to have a story that is filled with more than doubts but an exuberance of hope? Doubt and hope often go together and it is on this Sunday each year we see there convergence in a figure that has grown figuratively with each passing century. It is absolutely certain that no matter how we twist the story or delve into the depths of the psychology Thomas remains as one of the preeminent figures of the resurrection story and its impact on faith life. We can interpret as being a reflection of our own doubts; we can pinpoint and splurge on the absolute faith the disciple eventually displays; we can marvel at the erroneous depictions of that fate filled non-existent touch and so on and so forth.
Irrespective of how we play the scene out or how we make an effort in exegesis of this particular passage and all the hype that goes with it there is one thing that is absolutely and totally important for us and that is that faith has room for doubt or perhaps put another way there can be no faith without some doubt. I can hear murmurs of discontent in the corner suggesting that there can only be faith there is no room for doubt. It is this attitude, I am afraid that has led to much of our modern dilemma around faith and religion. It is the hard core that drive this model of faith. More often than not it turns more people away from an understanding of love in our presence which we believe is God. The insistence on people only believing what they are told by denominational dogma has led people away from the truth of faith in the hearts and minds of many. This leads to fear of tyranny whilst doubt leads to questions and truth. A truth proclaimed not by dogma but by God.
Even in science the most dominant force in our age of enlightenment and the furthest from any form of religious debate has examples of how doubt and faith our intermingled. Whilst scientists rely on method and an almost religious holding to their way of doing things the holding of doubt is time honoured as is the possibility of faith in a line of investigation. Doubt inevitably leads to investigation, we all know this or should. Doubt also can lead us into an understanding of faith that is deeper than anything that comes from following known rules and dogmatic statements. In the 1990s a PhD student doubted the historic dogma regarding the origin of benign tumours in women's reproductive organs. The doubts expressed led to investigation and eventually proof of fundamental difference which changed the dogma that had been held for hundreds of years. How does this relate to ourselves in the faith community?
If we think about it much of our dogmatic faith understandings have been in place for not hundreds but often thousands of years with little change. These faith understandings were created outside of our modern understanding and have not fully transitioned with time. God is a God of change but is also a God of love, a love that is transcendent and unaccountable. If our understanding of God's love is held in a gridlock for a thousand of years while God changes how can doubt not arise. This is not to say that what we believe is not right but rather that our faith must be as immutable as God's love and yet as ever changing as God's Spirit as it moves in the world. It means that in our doubt we must and are allowed to explore the veracity of God's presence in our lives in a manner that we too can exclaim "My Lord and my God" without having to lean on dogma and doctrine for proof but rather show God's love working in a new and wondrous manner. Dogma and faith have been so bound up that the freedom to believe in God has been lost to an attitude that proclaims the "true" way rather than God's presence that leads us to the light of wisdom and love in a world deprived of hope.
In our doubts we can still find room for God's grace and presence to bring the true light of love and light into our hearts as we explore with a new era of the presence of God within. Teaching us and guiding us to love in the communities in which we live and work. It is only with this risen life within us that we can truly proclaim the light of God's presence and our response in the manner and belief that is in the voice of the doubter Thomas "My Lord and my God".
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